Adventures in Variansitting
by Opel Vectra
Summary: a Varian/Lady Caine shipping fanfic (written before the end of season 2), enjoy...
1. Chapter 1 : Rocky Upstart

Corona's prison…

Varian's cell...

Day 1 :

Varian

"Cursed Rapunzel...

Making a fool out of me...

She promised to help me and left my father to froze..."

Rudiger

"She couldn't Varian... Life isn't some cartoon musical where you sing a little song and your insipid dream magically come truth! So let it go..."

Varian

"Yeah right...Elsa from Arendelle said something like that didn't she?...

Princess Rapunzel or not, it'll get even and...

Wait...Rudiger...YOU CAN TALK ?"

Rudiger

"Yes, that because of those potions you made me test..."

Varian

"Oh, okay then..."

Rudiger

"Well it's payback time!"

Rugider was holding Varian's apron to punch him with his paw when suddenly...

"LUNCHTIME!"

Rudiger

"I'll deal with you later!"

12pm

At the prison cafeteria, Lady Caine and her goons...

Lady Caine

"Gosh I hate spinach puffs..."

Pocket

"I find them tasty...you should try one..."

Otter

"Can you get some for me boss?"

Lady Caine

"In your dreams...I'm gonna escape that stupid prison and get rid of Rapunzel..."

Pocket

"But how?"

Lady Caine

"Good question, Give me your plate Pocket, I'm gonna get some for ya..."

While Lady Caine went to get the spinach puffs for one of her cohorts,

Varian took her seat,

"Hello there... is the seat taken?

I'm Varian, I'm here since...wow...since I attempted to..."

Pocket

"Yes, the seat is taken...move somewhere else before the boss..."

Otter

"Hey Boss! somebody took your seat!"

Lady Caine arrived

"Get your bottom off my seat kid..."

Varian heard somebody ranting at him and the young alchemist saw a nice looking pirate girl…

Lady Caine

"Helloooooooo…Move!"

Varian (thinking)

"Wow…she's gorgeous…"

Otter

"He doesn't answer, let's get that rat!"

Lady Caine

"Hey! I give the orders here!"

Rudiger threw a spinach puff plate on Lady Caine

"Run Varian! Run for your life!"

Lady Caine

"(showing Rudiger) GET THAT RAT!"

After Rudiger had a food fight with Lady Caine and her minions,

Sometimes later,

The guards separated every inmate and brought them back to their cells…


	2. Chapter 2 : Varian in love

Corona's prison…

Varian's cell...

Day 2 :

Rudiger

"Allright Varian,

Now you're gonna pay for what you did to me…

Your time has come…"

Varian

"Her name is Caine…

Lady…Caine…

I wish I had the same tattoos as her…"

Rudiger

"Varian…"

Varian

"Such a lovely hair,

Such a beautiful smile,

Lady Caine and I are meant to be…"

Rudiger

"VARIAN!"

Varian

"Yes?"

Rudiger

"Prepare to suffer my wrath…"

Varian

"Hey Rudiger,

(One hairdo later…) how do I look?

Do I look handsome?"

Rudiger

(Facepalm)


	3. Chapter 3 : Saturday Night Lady Caine

Meanwhile, in Lady Caine's cell…

Lady Caine

"Taking my seat…

What a brat!"

Pocket

"Let it go boss…"

Lady Caine

"Never! If I ever cross his path…"

Otter

"Hey boss! Look!"

Otter held a brochure about the annual dance contest in Corona Prison…

Lady Caine's father always dreamed to win the contest…to have the golden cup as a prize…

Lady Caine

"Very interesting…

I'm gonna win the contest for my father and beat those undefeated Stabbington Brothers…

Just have to find a partner and voilà…"

Sometimes later,

All of Lady Caine's minions have found their partners for the contest…

Every inmate has one…

Except for…Varian…and Lady Caine

Varian

"Hi Milady…"

Lady Caine

"YOU?"

Varian

"Well…I guess we have to dance together…"

Lady Caine

"Make us lose and I'll take care of you…"

Announcer

"And now, for the first part of the contest…

THE STABBINGTON BROTHERS!"

The Stabbington Brothers danced some classic tango…

They're gonna win, like every year thought Lady Caine…

But Varian was excited to show his dance partner some moves…

After every inmate (including Lady Caine's thugs) danced…

Announcer

"For the final part of the contest…

LADY CAINE AND….A BOY…."

Varian

"Varian's the name, Dancing's my game…"

Varian brought his phonograph and put a disc…

The music looked like Boogie Fever…

Quite Normal, Varian was the Sylver's ancestor…

Varian held Lady Caine's hand as they danced…

The pirate girl did the same moves as Varian…

At the end of the song…

Announcer

"And the winner is…

LADY CAINE AND VARIAN!"

Everyone applauded except the Stabbington Brothers…

Lady Caine

"THE TROPHY! AT LEAST IT IS MINE!

A gold trophy for myself…It's the happiest day of my life…"

Varian

"May I check it?

Thank you…"

Varian takes the handle, it breaks…

Varian

"That's a chocolate trophy…

Just like Easter Eggs Milady…"

Lady Caine

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?

I danced like a chicken JUST FOR THAT CHOCOLATE TROPHY?

What a…humiliation…"

As everybody (including Pocket and Otter) laughed at Lady Caine…

Stabbington Brother 1

"Nice dancing toots…we could have told you that the trophy is every year made of chocolate but…"

Stabbington Brother 2

"…You greedy pirate girls are dumb as mud…"

Varian

"You're the dumb one!

Leave her al…"

The Stabbington Brothers punched Varian…

Stabbington Brother 1

"You were sayin'?"

Varian

"I said…LEAVE HER ALONE!"

Varian had a fight with The Stabbington Brothers,

The other inmates joined the Stabbington and Lady Caine tried to flee as many wardens came to stop the fight…

Lady Caine did not return to her cell…

She was abandoned by the guards on a small boat with Varian at sea with no water or food but only sharks…


	4. I haven't found a name for this Chapter

Lady Caine

"Gosh I hate chocolate…

My father would be ashamed of me…

King Fredrick imprisoned him…just like every criminals in Corona…"

Varian

"Yeah, I know that story…that's because Rapunzel was lost…

I heard she was kidnapped by a witch…the princess's hair has the power to heal wounds, to cure illnesses and to give eternal youth thanks to a flower…

The King thought your pops was responsible and…"

Lady Caine

"That's your fault!

I'm in this small boat in the middle of nowhere because of you!"

Varian

"Yeah…you're right…I'm just a kid…

All I wanted to make my dad proud!"

Lady Caine

"Me too…

I've never been able to rob treasures on ships like he did…"

Varian

"I'm sure you will…"

Lady Caine

"What?"

Varian

"Yeah…you're a great pirate!

Even If you won a chocolate trophy…

I'm serious…you're the hottest pirate girl I've ever seen in my whole life…

Love your hair…"

Lady Caine

"Are you serious?"

Varian

"Yeah…

Hey Look! A light!"

Lady Caine

"We're saved! Let's paddle!"

Varian

"We don't need to paddle…."

Varian showed Lady Caine what people shall call an outboard motor…

He installed it on the boat and both went to the light on high speed…


	5. Chapter 5 : The Baron

Lady Caine

"Where did you get that stuff?"

Varian

"I created it Milady…"

Lady Caine

"So you're kind of magician, or wizard, isn't it?"

Varian

"No, I'm an alchemist…"

Lady Caine

"Wow…you would make a great minion if you were one of mine…"

Varian

"Thanks…"

The light was only the lighthouse from Corona….

As they searched for a way to escape the guards…

Pocket

"We were waiting for you guys…"

Lady Caine

"Silence…I'm glad you have escaped but now, get back to work! We're gonna find some guns and a boat, then we'll get back to our old ways and…"

Pocket

"I don't think we will Caine…"

Lady Caine

"That's Lady Caine to you, obey me or else!"

Otter

"You know, you're so cute when you're angry…

Get rid of them…"

Several thugs cornered Varian and Lady Caine…

Lady Caine

"Mutiny! Get your hands of me! And Varian, also…"

Sometimes later, Varian and Lady Caine were brought to Pocket and Otter's new boss…

Lady Caine

"The Baron…"

Varian

"What baron? Oh yeah, the one that talk with Lance Henriksen's voice…"

Lady Caine

"Lance what?…"

Varian

"I'll explain you later…"

The Baron

"So this is Lady Caine…

The One…The Only Lady Caine…

And that alchemist that invented the DeLorean…"

Lady Caine

"DeLorean?

What is he talking about?"

Varian

"I invented a time machine!…A chariot only made of steel with no horses…

But he wanted to use it for evil…"

The Baron

"And now, you're gonna tell me where is it…"

Varian

"Never!…

Catch us if you can!"

Varian grabbed Lady Caine's hand and created many holograms of he and Lady Caine to fool Pocket and Otter…

The Baron

"Don't let them get away!"

Varian held Lady Caine's hand…

He ran as fast as he could in the streets of Corona…

Lady Caine never ran so fast in her whole life…

After they hide…

Lady Caine

"Mutiny…my minions quitted me for the Baron…

One of the biggest Corona crime lords…

I'll make them pay one day!"

Varian

"Quiet milady…

They could hear us..."

Lady Caine

"Oh, right…

…Varian?"

Varian

"Yes?"

Lady Caine

"Thank you…"

Varian

"You're welcome miss…

For what?"

Captain of the Guards

"Freeze!"

Varian and Lady Caine were cornered by the corona guards…


	6. Final Chapter : Varian Ever After

Rudiger

"See…I told you he brought his inventions with him…"

They were guided by Rudiger who joined them…unlike Axel whose goal was to free Lady Caine…

Lady Caine

"Do something Varian!…"

Varian

"Hold me tight…

We're gonna fly…"

Varian pushed the power button of his rocket-boots…

And he and Lady Caine flew to escape the guards and Rudiger…Just like Aladdin and Jasmine…

Lady Caine felt like she was touching clouds…

But they escaped the guards…

That's the point…

Lady Caine and Varian enjoyed it…

Until Varian's rocket-boots batteries went low…

They fall back in Corona in a chariot full of tomatoes, they were covered of tomato juice as the owner (Monty) rants at them but runs in panic as he finds out that Lady Caine was there…

Lady Caine

"What a coward…"

Lady Caine tried to get out of the chariot, but she falls on a blushing Varian…

Varian

"Oh…erm…sorry milady…"

Lady Caine

"That's ok…

The only thing is that I have to change now…I'm getting tired of that tomato smell…"

Varian

"A wise decision Milady…or else, they will call you "Lady Ketchup"…"

Instead of slashing his throat like the old Lady Caine could do…

She laughed...

Lady Caine

"You're funny…"

Lady Caine then looked at Varian with a warm grin before hugging him and kissing him on the cheek…

Lady Caine has found someone who was more valuable than her minions who were tired of her egocentric personality…

Day 365

Varian's dad was still frozen but he was proud of his son for finding true love…

…and founding with Lady Caine their own tomato soup company…

"LADY KETCHUP TOMATO SOUP COMPANY"

Lady Caine

"Ready to go honey?"

Varian

"You bet!"

Both went to door-to-door delivery on Corona in a delivery chariot while holding their hands…

…as for the DeLorean, Varian gave it to his great-great- great-great- great-great- great-great- great-great- great-great- great-great- great-great- great-great- great-great- great-great-grandson Emmet Brown…

THE END


End file.
